Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow.

  Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you...

  I don't have a life anymore.

  I have a job.

  I have time for nothing else besides work. I'm working like over fifty hours a week. I have to work the next three Saturdays, including this one. I've worked the past two Saturdays. By the time Sunday comes around, I'm too damned tired to even get out of bed.

  I'm losing even more weight. When I get out of the shower and look in the mirror, I just wonder where I'm going. I'm down two more pant sizes. I haven't been this light since I was a freshman in high school - and I was three inches shorter back then.

  The money is phenominal though...

  I go out for an hour or two every Saturday night after work (depending upon how soon I can get out of there), but it's nearly impossible to relax. By the time the end of the week comes around, I'm run down so damned ragged that my brain won't stop trying to angle and wangle. Running this department on second shift has become an every day exercise in being given a set of impossible circumstances and being expected to accomplish everything against nearly insurmountable odds. I keep delivering the goods (literally), but I'm burning out, and I can see myself slipping here and there.

  I guess I keep doing it because I literally have nothing better to do. If I were to stop, I don't know what I would do with my time anymore.

  Nine hour days are a minimum anymore. I got out of work at eleven thirty (a half an hour late) only once since we started the plant back up on the second of this month. I went to Wal-Mart tonight because I was ridiculously low on stuff. I didn't even enjoy it. I didn't get there until after one o'clock in the morning, and it was a race against time trying to cram everything I needed into a shopping cart. I got home a couple of hours ago...

  I'm thinking of buying a new car and debating upon whether or not to keep my old one. I want to get an 2008 PT Cruiser (I've always loved those things). I think I could afford the payments with little or no hassle. I'm up for a couple of raises this year, too - which would make it even easier. Jet black, chromed up, it'd look pretty sharp...

  The scary thing about all of this, in the bedding industry - this is considered the SLOW season...

  I dread to think what May and June will bring...

  Oh well...

  I'm gonna eat some chips an' go ta bed. Tomorrow and Friday are supposed to be pretty bad, demand-wise. I should try and get some sleep, I guess.

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